Apple’s iPhone SE line has long been the budget darling for fans who couldn’t stomach flagship prices. But in 2025, the iPhone SE3 is dead—kicked to the curb—and its replacement, the iPhone 16e, struts in at £600 as Apple’s “most affordable” option. Affordable? Hardly. Cheap? Not even close—unless you’re a spoiled trust-fund kid with cash to burn. After weeks of testing this overpriced relic, I’m ready to spill the tea: This might just be the worst phone of 2025. As a mobile review expert who’s seen it all, I’m here to dissect why the iPhone 16e is a letdown—and why you should steer clear. Buckle up, folks—it’s a bumpy ride!

Design and Build: Bland and Bezeltastic

The iPhone SE3 had one redeeming trait: its compact size. The iPhone 16e grows to 6.1 inches, but don’t get excited—those chunky, old-school bezels make it feel less “mini” than you’d hope. Flat edges and sharp corners? Check. Classic Apple tropes that scream, “We didn’t try.” It’s not as unwieldy as the iPhone 16 Pro Max (a beast that feels like wrestling a porcupine), but it’s hardly comfy, either.

Apple’s marketing calls it “Drop Dead Gorgeous,” but that’s a stretch—unless you find serial killer vibes sexy. The design is bland as a kidney on a table: black or white only, no vibrant hues like the iPhone 16. The single camera bump is subtle, but the phone still wobbles on a desk like a nervous chihuahua. It’s IP68 water-resistant, surviving a shower cry-session (tested it—tears and all), but a wet screen kills responsiveness. At £600, it’s a yawn-fest that only a die-hard Apple fan could love.

Display: A 60Hz Time Capsule

The Super Retina XDR OLED sounds fancy, and sure, it’s sharp and punchy—bright enough for outdoor use (despite auto-brightness overshooting in the mornings). But here’s the kicker: a 60Hz refresh rate in 2025? Are you kidding me? After years of silky 120Hz on £100 Androids, this feels like flicking through molasses. My eyeballs—worn out from decades of screen time—noticed the judder instantly. Scrolling iOS or apps is a choppy nightmare.

The Notch is back, uglier than ever, dangling into view like an unwelcome guest. No always-on display either—this isn’t a phone; it’s a medieval relic. Stereo speakers? They’re fine—decent sound, slight distortion at max volume, and an odd ticking from the earpiece once (thought it’d blow up in my pants). But “fine” doesn’t cut it at this price.

Performance: A18 Lite Can’t Save It

Powered by a stripped-down A18 chipset (four GPU cores, not five like the iPhone 16), the iPhone 16e should be a gaming beast, right? Wrong. That 60Hz display drags it down like a sloth with busted knees. I fired up Genshin’s Impact on high settings—expecting Apple’s “future-proof your fast” hype—and got a jerky mess. Frame rates dipped below 30fps with a few NPCs on-screen. It’s not a slideshow, but it’s far from smooth. The phone warmed up, but nothing toasty—still, a busted promise.

Connectivity’s solid with Apple’s C1 modem: sub-6 5G works fine (lethargic in busy London, but that’s normal). No millimeter-wave 5G, Wi-Fi 7, or Ultra Wideband, though—AirTag fans, tough luck. At £600, it’s a performance dud dressed up as a champ.

Software: iOS 18 with Apple Intelligence Flops

Running iOS 18 with five years of updates, it’s decent longevity—though Google and Samsung offer more. It’s standard iOS, but with retro flaws: a tiny status bar hides notifications, and there’s no always-on display. The Action Button (above the volume keys) ties into shortcuts—handy for macros—but I kept mistaking it for volume up.

Then there’s Apple Intelligence, hyped as a game-changer. Spoiler: it’s rubbish. The writing tool rewrites your texts to sound marginally less drunk—barely works. Proofreading fixes autocorrect’s nonsense (a necessity), but image generation? A joke. Asked for a “rabbit pulling a magician from a hat”—got me as a wizard with a rabbit tacked on. “Teenage Mutant Ninja Capybara”? A mouse in an ‘80s puffer jacket. “A good iPhone”? Too outlandish, apparently.

Genmoji churns out emojis—cucumber and eggs worked, but most are useless. Transcription struggles with my Northern accent (fair enough), while Safari’s Reader Mode summary is the lone winner—stripping ads and summarizing pages (sometimes too briefly). Photo cleanup removes background clutter—meh, it’s glitchy. Visual Intelligence (Google Lens, but worse) shrugs at anything beyond plants. Siri? Upgraded, yet dumber than a rock—can’t even open the camera without crashing. It’s AI that feels lobotomized.

Storage: 128GB of Pain

At £600, you get 128GB of storage—pathetic in 2025. Two weeks in, Genshin Impact and Wuthering Waves ate most of it. No microSD slot (Apple’s usual stinginess), and rivals like the Nothing Phone 3A Pro or Samsung Galaxy A56 offer 256GB as the standard. Want more? Fork over £100 extra for 256GB—£700 for an “affordable” phone. Gamers and photo buffs, you’re screwed.

Battery and Charging: The One Bright Spot

Battery life is the iPhone 16e’s saving grace. No official capacity (Apple’s coy as ever), but it lasts. A day of camera use, Spotify, and browsing—6-7 hours screen-on-time—left me with 33% by bedtime. No always-on display helps, ironically.

Charging? Grim. 20W wired takes over an hour—useless for quick top-ups. 7.5W wireless is glacial, and no MagSafe (a 2025 headline omission). USB-C (2.0, thanks EU) replaces Lightning, but it’s still a slow poke. At least it won’t die mid-game.

Camera: One Lens, No Surprises

Apple touts the 48MP single camera as “two-in-one” with 2x optical zoom. It’s not—it’s just cropping. No ultrawide or telephoto (unlike Androids at this price). It’s a basic point-and-shoot: bright, saturated shots with good detail in daylight, flaring at night. Portrait mode works decently despite one lens, but moving subjects blur—like my vision after 12 pints.

4K Dolby Vision video at 30fps looks sharp with solid stabilization—audio’s muted facing the screen, but passable. The 12MP selfie cam shoots 4K 30fps too—fine for vlogs. It’s on par with the Galaxy A56 or Nothing Phone 3A, but no camera button (a relief after the iPhone 16 Pro Max’s dud) doesn’t make it special.

Verdict: Don’t Buy This Trash

The iPhone 16e is a £600 dumpster fire. A 60Hz display, measly 128GB, and brain-dead Apple Intelligence tank its value. Battery life shines, and the camera’s okay, but that’s it. Americans call it “the iPhone for your mom”—a backhanded jab at its dated mediocrity. Fans might cling to it (“I need an iPhone!”), like living in a burning house because it’s familiar. Try a house that’s not on fire—like the Nothing Phone 3A or Galaxy A56—for less cash and more joy.

Pricing: £600 (128GB), £700 (256GB) as of March 14, 2025—check local retailers.

About Me: I’ve reviewed phones for years, from budget bangers to flagship flops. Trust me to call it like it is—this one’s a skip.